the Distributed MST3K Annotation Project

Episode Information

Episode 111 thumbnail

111: Moon Zero Two

Mysterious and mad happenings on far-out lunar base.

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Quotes

00:00:00

Beginning of the episode

00:01:28

Opening host segment

00:02:09

Invention Exchange

00:03:24 (add an annotation)
Dr. F
Larry, make a note to call James Doohan.

James Doohan, best known as Chief Engineer Scotty on the original "Star Trek" series. One of his chief duties was operating the transporter.

00:03:50 (add an annotation)
Larry
And Linda Blair, with real head-cranking action! "Your mother flosses in Hell!"

Possessed by a demon in the 1973 film "The Exorcist", Linda Blair's character turned her head around 180 degrees, vomited pea soup on one priest and made distinctly unkind insinuations about another's deceased mother.

00:03:59 (add an annotation)
Joel
I think 4 out of 5 dentists are going to recommend psycho-therapy for you two.
00:04:28

Movie begins

00:04:48 (add an annotation)
Servo
Is this a "Pink Panther" movie?

A notable feature of the "Pink Panther" movies were their animated opening credit sequences, featuring a cartoon version of the title character.

00:05:12 (add an annotation)
Joel
Is this Petula Clark singing?
Crow
*Peculiar* Clark.
00:05:49 (add an annotation)
Servo, on Joel's dancing
You look like Goldie Hawn on "Laugh-In".
Crow
Except for the hair.
Servo
And the body.

"Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In", an '60s comedy series on NBC, would often segue between sketches by showing a painted, bikini-clad woman dancing; for three seasons, long-haired, skinny but fit Goldie Hawn filled this bill.

00:05:58 (add an annotation)
Crow, an American and Russian astronaut start fighting
Hey, it's '60s glasnost!
00:06:55 (add an annotation)
Sign
Moon Club International
Crow
Hey! Great club... no atmosphere!
00:07:24 (add an annotation)
Servo
Are those the Blue Meanies?

Freaked-out, music-hating villains of the animated Beatles feature, "Yellow Submarine".

00:07:33 (add an annotation)
Joel
Hey, it's Donald Trump, and he's chasing the good guys away! Doesn't make sense...
Servo
It makes *perfect* sense!
00:08:25 (add an annotation)
Crow
It's an orbiting Garden Weasel!

A manual gardening tool invented in Germany

00:09:26 (add an annotation)
Servo
He's got the Nintendo Power Glove.

The Power Glove was a hand-mounted controller mechanism made by Mattel for Nintendo's NES video game system in 1989. Among other places, it was featured in the 1989 Fred Savage movie "The Wizard".

00:10:13 (add an annotation)
Joel
Maynard Ferguson's out there somewhere!

Jazz trumpeter Maynard Ferguson is known for his facility with hitting the high register of notes.

00:10:42 (add an annotation)
Joel, on the hero's space suit
Whoa, he's got VPL, in a bad way.

May either stand for "visible panty line" or "visible penis line", depending on gender and/or personal habit.

00:11:19 (add an annotation)
Crow
Let's go back and look at the Moon! Maybe they're showing the feature, now!
00:11:32 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Zero Two to Moon Control...
Joel
Moon Control to Major Tom.

Reference to the David Bowie song "Space Oddity."

00:11:38 (add an annotation)
Servo
He's got Playtex Living Elbows, look at that.

Referring to the Playtex Living Bra, invented in 1954 and called the Living Playtex Lingerie Bra. The Beatles also joked about it: "...life goes on, braaa..."

00:12:24

Commercial break

00:12:31 (add an annotation)
Servo, as intercom lady
There's a Space Blue Light Special in Quadrant 9...
00:13:26 (add an annotation)
Crow, Taplin's first appearance
I'm here for the Gumby wedding!
00:13:29 (add an annotation)
Servo
Test Your Love! ..."Flaming"! Great!
00:13:38 (add an annotation)
Joel, Hubbard's first appearance
Wow, it's Castro...
00:13:48 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Hubbard
Where's the Armor-All?
00:14:42 (add an annotation)
Joel
Wow, did he get that shirt at a Molly Hatchet concert?
00:15:14 (add an annotation)
Servo, Taplin enters
Oh, hey, Thumbelina.
00:15:19 (add an annotation)
Taplin
I'm looking for Mister...
Joel
Goodbar?

"Looking for Mr. Goodbar" was also a '70s novel and movie about a nymphomaniac schoolteacher whose sexual exploits end badly.

00:16:56 (add an annotation)
Kemp
[counts "Moon Dollars", hands some to Korminski]
Servo
Here, I don't need it, I already have Pete Rose.

Pete Rose is a celebrated Cincinnati Reds baseball player who was notoriously banned from Major League baseball for gambling on his own team's games.

00:17:35 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Janey! You look great.
Crow
When'd you join the Guard?
Servo, female German accent
Right after I turned in the Von Trapp family!
00:17:58 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Well? What'd you want to see me about?
Joel, as Taplin
Do you think I look like a zucchini?
Crow
She looks like *Dot* Vader.
00:18:09 (add an annotation)
Taplin
I wondered if you'd know my brother...
Servo
...Gary Larson.
00:18:21 (add an annotation)
Taplin
That's what the man said.
Servo
Don't you listen to what the man says!

Misquoting the lyrics from "Won't you listen what the man said" by Paul McCartney and Wings (his band after the Beatles).

00:18:40 (add an annotation)
Kemp
No air... no vegetation... 1/6th gravity.
Crow
Yeah, but on the plus side, there's no Howie Mandel.
00:19:11 (add an annotation)
Servo
In the future, bras will grow on the Moon. Cross My Heart.

Playtex Cross Your Heart bras is a brand of bra that uses criss cross seaming to improve "lift" and shape.

00:19:23 (add an annotation)
Crow
Hey, it's the original Space Mountain, whaddaya know! And look, the line's *still* long!
00:19:44 (add an annotation)
Kemp
There's layers of ice a mile down. Melt into water, and you drink it. Break it into oxygen, you breathe it.
Crow
Crush it and flavor it, you've got a Slurpee.
00:20:24 (add an annotation)
Crow, interrupting the messenger girl
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't you have to go make some elfin cookies?
Servo
She looks like an Oompa-Loompa.
00:21:17 (add an annotation)
Taplin
What about your spaceship?
Kemp
Ferry. It's only a moon ferry.
Servo
Well, at least he's open about it.

Play on words: "ferry" into "fairy", a slang term for a homosexual man.

00:22:12

First host segment

00:22:13 (add an annotation)
Servo
On July 22, 1969, a man first set foot on the surface of the Moon. His name? Vince Lombardi.

Widely regarded as one of the greatest coaches in NFL history, Vince Lombardi led the Green Bay Packers from 1959-67, capturing five championship titles in that time.

00:23:07 (add an annotation)
Joel, as JFK
[holds a photo of Marilyn Monroe]
00:23:17 (add an annotation)
Crow
Not bad, Joel, but you sound a little like Cliff from "Cheers".

Cliff is the postal employee with (frequently) useless information who sits next to and endlessly informs Norm on the television situation comedy "Cheers."

00:24:36

Movie resumes

00:24:44 (add an annotation)
Crow
They're wearing Othello game pieces on their head!

The popular Othello board game features round playing pieces that are black on one side and white on the other.

00:25:22 (add an annotation)
Bartender
...an old-fashioned Pampas Punch.
Crow
Pampers Punch?! Ick!

Pampers is a brand of disposable diapers.

00:27:00 (add an annotation)
Servo
Moon Zero Mostel!

Zero Mostel is an actor best known for his roles in "The Producers" and "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum."

00:27:09 (add an annotation)
Crow
Hairpieces by Alexander Calder.

Alexander Calder is a famed abstract sculptor.

00:27:50 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Old 100% Hubbard?
Crow
L. Ron Hubbard? Old Mother Hubbard?

L. Ron Hubbard was an author and the founder of the controversial religious movement called Scientology. Old Mother Hubbard is a figure from a nursery rhyme.

00:28:23 (add an annotation)
Board Game
MOONOPOLY
All
Boo! Stu-pid! Let's moon 'em!

Everybody knows Monopoly. Right? Right. Well, that's what this is supposed to be.

00:28:59 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
Well, while you are in Jail, I foreclose on your mortgage and bankrupt you!
Servo, as Bimbo
Well, then, I'm not going to be Community Chest anymore!

Tom is referencing the popular board game "Monopoly."

00:30:12 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
Perhaps I should apologize for sending a man like Harry...
Servo
No, I'm just wild about Harry.

Refers to a song written much earlier, but revived as Harry Truman's choice of campaign songs in 1948

00:31:05 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
Do you know about asteroids, Mr. Kemp?
Servo
Sure, I have Atari!

"Asteroids" was one of the most popular video game cartridges available for the old Atari 2600 console, itself one of the most popular video game systems in history.

00:31:21 (add an annotation)
Joel, on Hubbard
Doesn't he look like the head of KAOS? Bernie Kopell? The guy from "That Girl".
00:31:50 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Land it? You mean "crash it", and that's against the law in a big way.
Crow
He's right, just ask John Landis.

John Landis directed "Twilight Zone; the Movie," notorious for an on-set helicopter accident that killed actor Vic Morrow and two children.

00:32:58 (add an annotation)
Crow, on a spectrogram slide
This is me playing "Breakout"!

Another old Atari game, "Breakout" had the player use a ball and paddle at the bottom of the screen to try and break brightly-colored bricks at the top.

00:33:14 (add an annotation)
Servo, looking at Harry
Is that Richard Kiel's stupider brother?

An actor most notable for his appearances as "Jaws" in the James Bond films.

00:33:30 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
Sapphire, Mr. Kemp.
Servo
I love Sapphire! She's great.
00:34:24 (add an annotation)
Kemp
...what do I get out of it?
Servo
Don Pardo, show him what he'll win!

Don Pardo is a popular announcer who has appeared on game shows as well as "Saturday Night Live."

00:34:50 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
...well, it attracts questions, snoopers.
Servo, lisping
Thnooperth 'nd blabberth!
00:35:17 (add an annotation)
Crow, looking at Whitsun
Oh, thank you, Vidal Sassoon. (as Vidal) I don't look good, and you don't look good.

A tagline for a series of commercials for Vidal Sassoon hair care products.

00:35:23

Commercial break

00:35:33 (add an annotation)
Joel, on Murphy's outift
That's her tribute to Bronko Nagurski.
Servo
She was in "Yards of Leather", I think.
00:36:29 (add an annotation)
Crow, as Korminski enters a phone booth
Up, up and away.

An obvious Superman reference.

00:36:51 (add an annotation)
Korminski
Yes, this time we can pay the bill, okay?
All, heavily accented
Hhokay, Meester Fawlty.

The fellows are imitating Manuel, the waiter character from the British television series "Fawlty Towers."

00:37:18 (add an annotation)
Hubbard
What nationality is he?
Crow, as John Cleese
He's from Barcelona.

Another repeated line from "Fawlty Towers," used by the manager, Basil, to explain away any mistakes made by Manuel.

00:39:34 (add an annotation)
Joel
It's Esther Williams... and she's in a fishbowl.

Esther Williams was a famous swimmer who went on to be featured in a series of movies.

00:40:22 (add an annotation)
Servo, as Whitsun
Would you turn off "Peter & the Wolf", please?
00:40:50 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Kemp looking at Whitsun
"The Importance of Being Earnest"! *That's* where I saw him!
Crow, as Whitsun looking back
Ah, "Gentleman Caller", actually. But, these rockets, as I was saying...
00:42:04 (add an annotation)
Joel, on the bar's redecoration
It's "Hee-Haw 1999"!
00:42:42 (add an annotation)
Servo
This looks like "The Benny Hill Show".
00:43:20 (add an annotation)
Joel
Hey, it's Buffalo Bob!
00:43:58

Second host segment

00:44:23 (add an annotation)
Joel
"Sorry!" will seem to be the hardest game.

"Sorry!" is a pursuit board game where you can knock your opponents back out of your way; Joel plays the name off of Elton John's "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word".

00:44:25 (add an annotation)
Crow
And, say you're playing "Clue", the answer might be Colonel Mustard, in the Command Module, with laser bolos!

"Clue" is a murder mystery board game that requires you to deduce the culprit, location, and murder weapon.

00:44:33 (add an annotation)
Servo
Parcheesi will be "Greencheesi".

Parcheesi is an adaptation of an Indian board game; basically, you move your pawns around the board once and into the center.

00:44:36 (add an annotation)
Joel
Skittle-bowl will be the same, but it'll take even longer to set up, 'cause of no gravity.

Skittles was the basis for bowling, and is pretty much the same, just on a smaller scale.

00:44:40 (add an annotation)
Crow
Chutes & Ladders is replaced by Vacuum Tubes, like on the Jetsons...

One of the simpler board games, in "Chutes & Ladders", you try to move to the top of the board. Land on a ladder, move up; land on a chute, move down.

00:44:46 (add an annotation)
Servo
Candyland's the same, but you should see the new flavors they've got!

Another simple "make-it-to-here" game; the catch here is, the board is divided into regions named after various sweets, such as Gum Drop Mountain.

00:44:51 (add an annotation)
Crow
"Kaboom!" is called "Don't Smoke in the Ship!"...

In "Kaboom!", your piece's fate is tied to an ever-inflating balloon. If it pops on your turn, well, you're in a rather bad way.

00:44:58 (add an annotation)
Joel
They won't have mice, 'cause they'll need to use them for research, so you can't play Mouse Trap...

"Mouse Trap" has you trying to collect all the pieces to a complicated, uh, mouse trap. To... trap a mouse. Yeah.

00:45:04 (add an annotation)
Servo
Etch-A-Sketch will finally be able to draw curved lines, I'll bet!

The classic Etch-A-Sketch has a gray screen and two knobs, one for vertical and one for horizontal; turning either one moves a stylus inside the toy, "drawing" a line on the screen. Reliably drawing anything other than lines is a challenge for the ages.

00:45:07 (add an annotation)
Crow
"Scruples" aren't around anymore, because people won't have any.

"Scruples" poses to you a hypothetical moral dillemma, then has your friends vote on whether or not your answer was right. Fun, but possibly dangerous.

00:45:10 (add an annotation)
Joel
Trivial Pursuit will be Trivial Moonsuit...
00:45:13 (add an annotation)
Servo
Now, "Win, Lose & Draw" is called "Win, Lose & Draw Oxygen".
00:45:18 (add an annotation)
Crow
"Password" has been replaced by games higher in fiber...
00:45:21 (add an annotation)
Joel
Well, I got a game from my past that's in my present, and I think will keep going into the future, you guys know how it works: it's "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots"!
00:45:48

Movie resumes

00:46:32 (add an annotation)
Crow, Harry straddles a rocket
Hey, it's Major Kong!
Servo
Is that what they call a "crotch rocket"?
00:46:57 (add an annotation)
Crow
In space, no one can hear you yawn.

A play on the tagline for the 1979 sci-fi horror film "Alien": "In space no one can hear you scream".

00:49:14 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Kermit
It's not easy being green...
00:49:16 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Whitsun
I'm curious, but yellow.
00:49:20 (add an annotation)
Servo, as Fozzie
Ahah, frog and a bear, together again! Wakka, wakka, wakka!
00:50:13 (add an annotation)
Servo, during a countdown
8675309.

Reference to the 1982 song "867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone.

00:50:29 (add an annotation)
Joel
Space sounds by Chuck Mangione.
00:51:23 (add an annotation)
Joel, on the bar's dancers
Wow, they're so versatile! It's kinda like Swan Lake A-Go-Go.
00:51:39 (add an annotation)
Crow
They made some extra cash by selling this set to Donny & Marie.
00:51:54 (add an annotation)
Servo, on the bartender
Is that Norm Crosby?
Crow
Or Crorm Nosby.
00:52:54 (add an annotation)
Crow
Hey, Florence Henderson hair-do! Looks like she did it with Wesson oil.
00:54:31 (add an annotation)
Kemp
It'll only be a three-day trip. I'll be back in time.
Crow
That's what the Skipper said.
00:55:12 (add an annotation)
Joel
...and always look like Dennis Hopper.
00:55:26 (add an annotation)
Crow
Look out, Big Bird! Oh, Magic Screen!
00:57:45 (add an annotation)
Joel, as the buggy rental guy
Do you think this permanent wave is a good idea for my hair?
Crow
He looks like Big Boy.
00:58:16 (add an annotation)
Servo, Kemp hands the buggy guy a card from his boot
Your Odor Eater. Thank you very much.
Joel, after the card has been run
I'm afraid you're over your credit limit. Do you have a Dr. Scholl's pad on you?
00:59:08 (add an annotation)
Servo
How do you like my new "Moon Sounds" tape by Phillip Glass?
00:59:21 (add an annotation)
Crow
...like the Weiner Man song! (singing) I know a weiner man, he owns a hot dog stand...
00:59:56 (add an annotation)
Crow
Hey, there's Jacques Cousteau.
01:03:14

Commercial break

01:03:28 (add an annotation)
Servo
Looks like they're kinda crawling out of the Tupperware orange.
01:04:01 (add an annotation)
Servo
Triple-A's even gonna charge 'em for that one...
01:04:06 (add an annotation)
Joel
Her brother lived in a Port-A-Potty.
01:05:20 (add an annotation)
Crow
It's a space lawn jockey.
01:06:38 (add an annotation)
Joel, on the moon goons
It's the Unwelcome Wagon.
01:07:54 (add an annotation)
Kemp
Don't say anything on radio. They're picking it all up.
Crow
Is there a 7-second delay? Can I swear?
01:08:24 (add an annotation)
Servo, after Kemp shoots a goon
Well, you got Lime Green. Just Raspberry Red and Lemon Yellow to go.
Crow
But remember, Trix are for kids.
01:08:54 (add an annotation)
Crow
There's a barracuda in here!
01:09:28 (add an annotation)
Servo, as a goon's suit deflates
"Soup's on," he said flatly.
01:09:39 (add an annotation)
Servo
Looks like he's going after a crackhouse.
01:10:21 (add an annotation)
Crow
Hey, shut the door! What, were you born in a vaccuum?
01:11:34 (add an annotation)
Crow
It's got lawn attachments, a Blaupunkt stereo...
01:12:44

Third host segment

01:12:50 (add an annotation)
Servo, mocking Taplin
The one with the Eddie-Munster-page-boy look?
01:14:35 (add an annotation)
Joel
Anti-gravity: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
01:14:45

Movie resumes

01:14:48 (add an annotation)
Servo
What, are they driving through Snack Canyon?
01:16:03 (add an annotation)
Kemp
What are you going to do now? Now that you're not going to work with your brother.
Servo
I'm going to Disney World!
01:19:20 (add an annotation)
Crow, a buggy explodes as the music crescendoes
Wait! Oh, the jazz combo was still in there!
Servo
The day the music died...
01:20:45 (add an annotation)
Servo, on Murphy
She's really got sort of a Julie Andrews quality, doesn't she?
Joel
Yeah, I think she got that skullcap from "Thoroughly Modern Millie".
01:22:00 (add an annotation)
Servo, as doors open to reveal a moon buggy
It's a brand new car!
01:22:09 (add an annotation)
Smith
Mr. Hubbard, they've found out about it!
Crow, as Klink
Hogan, I wouldn't say any more about that if I were you.
01:23:36 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Murphy, dying
I suppose I look rather silly to you, Bill...
01:24:00 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Murphy, dead
Bury my turtle hat at Wounded Knee.
01:25:17

Commercial break

01:26:19 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Taplin
Should I make coffee too, Mr. Hefner?
01:26:25 (add an annotation)
Crow
This is one of my best escape tricks, ever! I chain myself to this ladder, see, and...
01:29:48 (add an annotation)
Joel, as Kemp floats in space
I can fly, I can fly! I'm the luckiest boy in the world!
01:30:56 (add an annotation)
Korminski
Pressure normal... no leaks.
Crow
A few lentils, though. (laughs, then trails off) Soup lovers will get it.
01:33:08

Closing host segment

01:34:17 (add an annotation)
Joel, to Gypsy
Tell me a good thing and a bad thing about the movie.
Gypsy, after a long pause
Richard Basehart?