the Distributed MST3K Annotation Project

<Servo> I hate it when Aztecs force themselves into your hotel room and make you try on belts.

<Crow> So no one who doesn't go there doesn't not talk?

<Servo> Oh, he accidently gave him the 'Captain Dork' costume by mistake.

<Crow> This always happens! People throw me out of the window, tell me I'm Puma Man, then leave.

<Mike> I kiss my frog in your honor.

<Mike> Help, I'm falling at a 60 degree angle breaking all the laws of physics!

<Mike> He has the power to rear-project major cities!

<Aztec> It belonged to your father. With this, you will have all the powers he did... <Mike> ...or your money back.

<Crow> It's his fortress of balditude!

<Servo> My mustache makes me fall sideways!

<Servo> Would you like a cup of, BALD!!!

<Crow, as godly Aztec spaceship floats away> Uhm, there's no afterlife. Sorry!

<Mike> My name is Pleasence, and I am funky.

<Woman> So dinosaurs became extinct because they forgot how to love each other. Is that right? <Servo> Yeah, in a wrong sort of way.

<Crow> You know, I have almost no respect for pumas now. I now know that if I ever run into a puma, I can just push it the hell over.

<Aztec> They have lost their connection. <Mike> The network is down.

<Woman> But this is proof of an outerspace presence in our history! <Servo> She said that about waffles.

<Mike> The world's most persistent belt salesman.

<Servo, as paleontologist exchanging innuendo with woman> Wanna go encircle a mammoth later?

<Crow> Hey, the pew-MAY-min!

<Crow> Eat this baguette! Eat it!

<Puma Man> Help me Father! <Crow> My homework is really hard!

<Donald Pleasence> Your mind... and your will... belong to me! <Crow> I have a receipt!

<Crow, singing to the tune of the Puma Man theme> The fat-free yogurt that's not short on flavor!

<Mike, as the Aztec Guy> I am a wood sprite.

<Mike, as the aztec guy> Thank you, pasta necklace.

<Servo> Christmas ornaments of the gods!

<Donald Pleasence, directing his "slave"> Get me a soda pop and a Caramello!

<Mike, as mask starts shaking> Oh oh! Hey, did someone put unleaded in this thing?

<Aztec Guy> Now go! (Puma man closes his eyes and concentrates) <Crow> No! Not that kind of go!

<Puma Man> A ticket to the dutch embassy? <Woman> Does that scare you? <Mike> Yeah, the Dutch are mean.

<Puma Man, seeing the Aztec guy's modest bed> How do you sleep on that? <Mike> Are you poor? Ew.

<Mike, as Donald Pleasence rides his electric lift> Weeeeee!

<Donald Pleasence> And who is to prevent me? <Servo, as Woman> A halfway smart guy with muscles and hair?

<Crow, to music> Do the Hustle!

<Donald Pleasence> Sometimes there is more truth in legend than in history. <Mike> And there's more salt in ham than in turkey.

<Mike, as a set wall shakes when a man is thrown into it> The wall didn't bend, ignore that.

<Mike> Wool-over-his-eyes Man! <Crow> Easily-bamboozled Man! <Servo> Three-steps-behind Man!

<Mike, on the similarity between the tracking device beep and the Emergency Broadcasting System> This is a test of the audience's patience.

<Mike> I hate to be picky, but pumas aren't really known for flying.

<Vidinho> You have the blood of the gods coming from other worlds. <Servo> Ew, god blood is hard to get out.

<Donald Pleasence> I knew we found him... Now the only task is to kill him. And that's the easiest job of all. <Mike> The hardest job is growing hair.

<Servo, on Puma Man's flying> Huh, Scoliosis Man here.

<Servo, on shot of Puma Man from the waist up flying> Don't lose your footing... I mean, 'flying power'.

<Puma Man> So they can get us? They'll waiting there for me. They're probably worrying right now because I'm late. Afraid something happened to me. <Mike> Are pumas also known for their whining?

<Mike> Puma Man: Liberace with Dockers.

<Servo> He is the Puma Man! He can get out of a car going 3 miles per hour!

<Crow> Wow, each man is a punching bag I guess...