Quotes Tagged with "TV"
- Joel, as Cleaver sitting on chair comes into frame
- There's Ward Cleaver.
- Crow
- Not bad, Joel, but you sound a little like Cliff from
"Cheers".
- Crow
- Good night Rockford dad
- Tom Servo
- Good night Mike Nelson of "Sea Hunt" fame.
- Crow, as Lloyd Bridges
- By this time, my lungs were aching for air.
- Tom
- Do not try to adjust your set, we will control what is boring
- Servo, as graveskeeper steps on cat's tail
- Oh, that's nice. I'm callin' Betty White.
- Lewis
- To the moon!
- Betty
- To the Moon!
- Servo
- To the moon... Alice.
- Crow, as Jean opens her purse
- I'll give you $5 if you have a hard-boiled egg in your purse.
- Servo
- Boy, all this and they STILL can't get the Comedy Channel.
- Servo
- Uncle Bill?
- Crow
- Jody?
- Joel
- Buffy?
- Servo
- Mr. French?
- Joel
- Mrs. Beasley?
- Servo
- Chief?
- Crow
- McCloud!
- Joel
- (as doctors put on surgical masks) I love you Margaret.
- Crow
- Frank, not now!
- Joel, as movie characters are subjected to plot contrivance
- Oh wow. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? They're gonna end up being
in Irwin Allen productions.
- Servo
- It's a whole planet of Ron Perlmans!
- Johnny
- Mother!
- Servo
- Roseanne!
- Tom Servo
- What is this, "Don Kirshner's Rock Concert" all of a sudden?
- Crow
- Hey, McGarrett's up here...
- Captain Joe
- Y'know, I never keep any bullets in my gun.
- Crow
- Oh, like Barney Fife.
- Crow, on Ken's voiceover
- What is this, "The Wonder Years"?
- Servo
- Next, on "Taxi"! Or, "Barney Miller". One of the
two.
- Crow
- Next time, on "Twin Peaks".
- Crow, as Gilbert Gottfried
- Join me, for Up All Night! We'll see movies!
- Joel, indicating black-and-white striped helicopter
- It's the helicopter from Daktari!
- Secret Agent, to diver
- Come back as soon as you've scouted the island.
- Crow
- Gotta get this suit back to Ivan Tors.
- Crow
- Shhh! Don't talk about that war!
- Crow
- Run, Toto, run!
- Crow
- Welcome to Death Valley Days. The driver is either ... me or ...
- Joel, as we look down at the dog skeleton
- I will pet him and keep him and call him George
- Servo
- I see you have a machine that goes ping.
- Servo
- You are about to enter the field of forensic medicine
- Joel, as the jewel glows
- Mork calling Orson, Mork calling Orson
- Servo, seeing two guards with flashlights
- It's a CBS Mystery Movie
- Joel
- There wasn't a CBS Mystery Movie
- Servo
- I know, but you won't let us say NBC Mystery Movie
- Servo, singing
- It's a sinister day in the laboratory, a sinister day in the lab...
Hello.
- Sign
- Kellock Hall: Women's Residence
- Mike
- Ah, except for Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari
- Cop, to rowdy teens
- Alright, hold it down in here!
- Tom
- Bored Straight.
- Servo
- Oh look, Yukon Cornelius and Herbie are calling.
- Servo
- They live at Marcus Welby's house?
- Crow
- It's the Kids in The Hall!
- Crow
- ESPN at 3am.
- Servo
- Y'know, maybe *this* is a doorway to another dimension. Not one of
sight and sound, but of mind.
- Servo, as the movie title is shown
- The Souuuuuuuuuultaker!
- Mike
- Astronuts.
- Mike
- Apparently Dan Blocker had been there.
- Narrator
- Into the truck goes one of the calves that Johnny Olson has raised.
- Servo
- Tell us what they've won, Johnny Olson!
- Tom, as Ivan
- I've got to go find a Pic-a-nic Basket.
- Servo, singing
- How will you make it on your own?
- Mike
- By Mennen!
- Woman
- Everybody wants to know you, to be your pal.
- Crow, as Woman
- And nobody doesn't like Sara Lee!
- Crow
- Sounds like the Avengers are here.
- Servo, as nerdy kid
- Suddenly, I am Starbuck!
- Crow
- Oh, he's been beamed in.
- Torgo
- I've gotta say, I've never been a big Urkel fan.
- Mike
- He's either a ruthless agent or Schemer from Shining Time Station.
- Servo
- Diarrhea is like a storm...
- Tom
- Walter Cronkite approves.
- Tom, as the Blood Beast bursts through the door suddenly
- Kramer!
- Servo, the view inside an egg
- Mork calling Orson.
- Servo, as the Old Wizard
- A Power Rangers coin, everyone!
- Mike
- Hey, will the people from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman please clear the
set?
- Servo
- Ah, fight choreography by Moe Howard.
- Servo, singing
- Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man...
- Mike
- Yukon Cornelius
- Crow, on seeing Madison
- Ed Grimley!
- Hank Williams, Jr. Look-a-like Deputy
- Bill Duncan kid, huh? Well let's go get 'em.
- Crow
- Let's find out if he's READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!
- Cheaply Built Mysterious Robot
- You are in error! I am not N.O.M.A.D. I am a similar design known as
M.O.N.A.D. I should destroy you, but I'll give you a mulligan on that
one.
- Servo
- One of Mr. T's understated pieces.
- Mike
- Killed by vapor action
- Crow, as the credit for Hugh Beaumont appears
- Hey, Ward.
- Servo, as the credit for Alan Napier follows next
- Oh and Alfred the Butler!
- Mike
- It doesn't get any better than this men.
- Servo
- And up from the ground came a union film crew.
- Crow, as Dr. Jud Bellamin descends with the rope pulled tightly to his crotch
- You know this is why the Cleavers stopped at two children.
- Servo
- I have to stop Christmas from coming... but how?
- Servo as Dr. Jud Bellamin being groped at by Mole People
- June, No, not tonight honey.
- Crow, as Elinu the High Priest
- No one is to tell Mr Wayne about our little Soirée.
- Mike
- (hums score from Mission Impossible)
- Tom
- Yeap.
- Crow, as the guard whine under the torchlight
- It's a pride of Dr. Smiths!
- Servo, as Algar touches a dead guard
- Data is down!
- Tom as Elinu
- Suddenly Susan is on.
- Servo singing as camera pans over hot mud
- ... A bubbling crude ...
- Tom, as dancer shakes it for the camera
- Cindy Lou Who! no!
- Crow, as the second sacrifice steps forward
- Its like Al Lewis in a long wig.
- Mike, as Ward
- I've been thinking, now that we have two children it's time to marry
June.
- Mike, as car
- Michael, why won't you answer me?
- Mike, as Ernest Borgnine talking in his sleep
- Don't want to be in The Single Guy anymore, uuh.
- Narrator
- Neither man nor animal will be the same.
- Crow
- Nor Manimal.
- Crow
- [dog barking] What's that? Grandpa Lombardi fell down a well?
- Crow
- I married Aunt Bee
- Mike, as Lombardi
- I could use a Frogurt
- Servo, over dog barking
- Rin Tin Tin in "Coming Home".
- Crow, impersonating
- The Death of Tyne Daly.
- Crow, re Mike's mustache
- It gives you a sort of Howard Sprague élan.
- Crow
- Gentlemen, we can make him dumber! Blonder!
- Mike
- (hums theme from "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour")
- Mike, as "hooker son" appears in the credits
- Hey... Hooker's a good son!
- Servo
- Don't...
- Mike, as Madison, in Ed Grimley voice
- I'm standing next to Ethel Kennedy, I must say.
- Mike
- Sabrina, the Octogenarian Witch.
- Crow
- There's something Laverne and Shirley-esque about this.
- Crow
- A dimension not of sight or sound but of crap.
- Crow, as folk singer starts his song
- ...and Jaye P. Morgan gives him the gong.
- Servo, over people running in a line
- (Hums "Yakety Sax")
- Father Mushroom
- Good boy Ivan, since you admit you lost I am going to give you the
things I promised
- Mike as Father Mushroom
- Then we shall drink Tranya! Ah ahaha ha!
- Crow, as Lt. Sulu
- There is a Feather Craft approaching captain.
- Mike, as bears run away
- Ben, Ben, Ben!
- Tom
- Tonight on a very special Grizzly Adams
- Crow
- When Animals Attack.
- Mike
- How not to be seen.
- Servo
- I'd rather see Rose Marie and Morey Amsterdam do the lambada.
- Servo
- James Franciscus is not pleased.
- Crow
- How can I star in Longstreet if I have a girlfriend like you?
- Servo
- Mother Angelica aerobics.
- Servo
- Hey, one of the new Monkees.
- Mike, as character
- Uh, excuse me Al Lewis.
- Mike
- Man, Shari Lewis has got it going on!
- Mike, impersonating
- Oh, we're going to the Deep Freeze, I must say.
- Mike, impersonating
- This is as exciting as exciting can be, I must say.
- Servo
- The Honeymooners!
- Mike, impersonating
- She's really struggling, I must say. She's going mental on us, but then
again she isn't.
- Lisa
- What would MacGuyver do?
- Mike
- Get cancelled!
- Crow
- Huh, must be Christmas on the Borg ship.
- Paul
- I'm a writer.
- Mike
- ...of the Purple Sage.
- Servo
- Isaac Mizrahi in the role of a lifetime!
- Servo
- Is this Coach's brother, here?
- Servo hums over a shot of pine trees
- Crow
- Canadian... Mannix!
- Troy
- Why do you think those men were following us yesterday?
- Crow, as Rowsdower
- Uh, They thought I was that guy from, "Due South."
- Mike, as Troy
- Dear Counselor Troi, I waited at Denny's, but you didn't meet me.
- Servo, as Troy
- Dear Agent Scully, did not appreciate your lawyer's tone.
- Servo, as a Soultaker looks at his pocketwatch
- I'm Ed Bradley...
- Mike, as a hospital patient is shown
- It's the right thing to do.
- Crow, as female nurses run down a hospital hallway
- George Clooney's taking his shirt off!
- Mike, as mansion-like home is shown
- Belvedere, come here boy.
- Mike, as Natalie's father is shown answering the door
- That must be Luciiiile!
- Mike, as Natalie looks at a framed photograph
- Mmmm...I love you, Scott Baio.
- Brad, to Zack's lawnmowing neighbor
- Hi, Mr. Taylor
- Mike
- Since I'm Bob Vila, I won't return your greeting.
- Crow, as Zack poses inconspicuously
- He's John Stamos-ing.
- Mike
- Wanna hear me do Super Bowl Shuffle?
- Servo, as Brad and his date are shown sitting in their car
- Oh no, it's Kathy Griffin!
- Crow, over shot of roadway
- Where's David Byrne's head?
- Crow, as the large Soultaker comes into view
- Michael Learned!
- Crow, as a Soultaker appears in a car window
- Do you have any Grey Poupon?
- Mike, as Natalie is shown again in the hospital bed, with breathing apparatus
- She's Snuffalupagus.
- Crow, as a nurse pushes a large box-like medical contraption
- Wheeling Captain Pike down the hall.
- Crow
- Lifetime network...?
- Mike as the lilttle boy Michael
- Dad is so going into the cornfield
- Crow, at credits typeface
- Hm. This is Rich-man Poor-Man font.
- Mike
- I'm ready to fight Captain Kirk.
- Mike
- Oh, my. The Two Fat Ladies have their own gang now.
- Mike
- You know, Quincy wouldn't take crap like this.
- Crow
- Which one of these is Al Lewis? You decide!